University Diary X.

It’s all over,

let the pain go,

no more wonder,

my mind is sore.

My soul has been broken again,

I don’t know what to do,

move on people say,

go away pain, go.

My life has been crushed again. I thought that after it happened to me many times I will be strong enough now but I was wrong.

I don’t want to start this article in pessimistic way (I already did, damn) so I will move to the happier part which is connected to the first short ‘poem’ (I tried).

I passed all my exams! I am free for a week! Well, unless you want to count making the schedule which will be depressing because I won’t be able to get into classes which I want AGAIN but I like managing things so that’s kind of okay. Thank to God and also Jesus as someone who shall not be named said, hehe.

I am now older again and on my birthday Mr. Actor died, yes, yes, you are right: Alan Rickman. No the second poem is not connected to him, or at least it wasn’t meant to be but you could manage it into it too. Rest in peace professor Snape, you made me laugh/cry many times and you will, always.

Now let’s move to even more personal news. My dearest, fluffiest (and now I am crying writing this), loveliest, nicest, cutest best animal friend, my dear guinea pig died. Oh my god. He wasn’t feeling well for the last week so I took him to the vet and I received the worst news: He had a tumor in his stomach and metastasis in intestine. You may ask why do these small, innocent animals have these ugly diseases? My answer is honest and simple: I unfortunately don’t know but if I knew I would change it immediately. When I see human going through this phrase, I know it’s hard but the person has sources to fight it somehow. Unfortunately, animals are helpless in these cases.

23rd Jaunary, 2016 my best guinea friend passed away, we had the best 8 (approximately) years together. You were born in my house, I saw you grow up and enjoy life and now you are gone and my heart lost another piece.

He was the one I decided to dedicate my second poem to.

That’s why I decided to stop having animals for a few years now. There may be many reasons but the main one is that I can’t lose another spirit animal (whether it’s human or animal or anything else) and I can’t be just helpless dumb hung being with explosive emotions. I am not a person who cries many times a year but this made me weak (someone could tell me: But tears are not a symbol of weakness!, no, they are not, but I feel weak by not having any control over my emotions).

I hope you guys had a better week (or two, you know just better January in general, it’s my birthday month and it was already a mess, what did 2016 prepared for me? God only knows.). I wish you a beautiful day full of joy.

You are original, stay original.


Claire xx


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